summer stalking

On Mastodon, a follower sent me the following YouTube video saying, “A little thought for you tonight on my way home from work, I listened to this.” I confess everything, judge: the first part is me.

run away

I have had my habits on the same Balearic Island since I was born. Suffice it to say that every summer coming back to Mallorca feels like coming home. Sometimes I have a language barrier when I talk about Mallorca as my home. It says how good I feel about it. I even moderate a few Facebook groups about the island to help travelers get their bearings.

Having endured trips over strollers and couples in the most festive corner of my resort area, and also not wanting to risk being accused of embezzling a minor, I made a mistake. I asked in one of the groups where 30 year olds can go to have a good night.

First tip: never do that. My message was very misinterpreted – to the delight of a friend who traveled with me and giggled stupidly for ten days: everyone thought that I was looking for meetings with single French people. That’s how I spent a few days, more or less politely evading what we call “hello, how are you” in our jargon. This was my first mistake.

Send help

I should have made it clear right from the start: I was looking for places where I could have a pleasant evening, but not necessarily communicate with the French. The advantage of the island is the presence of several nationalities from all over Europe, including among the inhabitants. Even if it means going abroad on vacation, you can also take the opportunity to discover cultures other than your own. But this did not stop the other member of the group.

After a hearty exchange of views in different places in the capital, he asked me why I had not been on television since the beginning of the COVID epidemic. He then asked me to research it based on my experience on Arcadia. I didn’t have to look far as he gave me his biography 24 hours later without asking anything.

But the worst thing was that he openly boasted about stalking me and determined, thanks to his high knowledge of psychology, that I had a certain type of personality that went very well with his, that I was a zebra and that we were made for each other. friend. At this point in the conversation, I was seriously considering asking to be admitted to the Foreign Legion.

in a nutshell

This was my second mistake: I forgot that when you agree to chat with someone on Facebook, they have access to your various posts. He finally understood my silence, not without sharing the message for so long that it took several screenshots to show it to my friends. In the meantime, I found something to keep Monday evenings busy.

There were a few pubs in my area that hosted quizzes and bingo, mostly British pubs where the atmosphere is warm, fun and everyone is having fun. Today, quizzes have given way to screens for broadcasting football matches. But the pub continues this tradition of quizzes. So the PNG direction is for the quiz. It is organized into multiple rounds, with a giant deck of cards that requires little setup. During the round before the card game, a guy sits across from me at the table. Telling me I’m alone, he tries to strike up a conversation while setting up the giant card board.

After 10 minutes of monosyllabic answers, he calmly told me: “I studied mental medicine for four years in Paris, I know when someone doesn’t want to talk.” After a few minutes he leaves, not without leaving me a letter so unhealthy that she made a friend say that if he persisted, then I would either end up in a sect or in the miscellaneous department. Note that the first does not exclude the second. Since then, I’ve been thinking about actually going to a monastery.

Bad reputation

Not to mention that other travelers from other countries are role models – too many videos of Punta Balena show otherwise – it must be admitted that the French sometimes live up to their bad reputation.

In our Facebook group, not a day goes by that someone doesn’t ask us for “cheap”, “good plans with a small budget” but with luxurious service. There are those who protest that the restaurant has paid water – most importantly, do not tell them about Belgium, they will feel bad – those who do not understand why not everyone speaks French, and then, we have our own ” Benois. ” according to Dolly.

These are the ones who seek friendship or even intimacy, with the tenderness and delicacy of a Ukrainian tractor on autopilot, and who think it’s a good idea to stalk you. So, a service message to my “Benoit” at Facebook: if you did your research properly, you would know that outside of politics, horror films are my big passion and that I have a fertile imagination. .

Moral of the story: digital hygiene, even on vacation, you need to think about it. As for me, I will think about which monastery to settle in.

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