Science

What happened to my billionaires?

I replayed How to Marry a Billionaire, written in 2009. At that time in Paris, we had not yet seen families and children sleeping on the street, and the inequality already seemed unbearable to me. So I had to update it, fix the number of billionaires, relearn the Forbes rating (a very practical list with their names, their net worth, and especially their photos, necessary for flirting with them at dinners).

How this list has changed in eleven years! In 2009 there were 783 billionaires, today there are 2668. The richest had 40 billion dollars, today he has 219. It would take 6789 years to calculate this amount.

Elon Musk, the first fortune in the world: the guy sells 3 Tesla and tries to move us to Mars, he has no social utility, even negative, he pollutes more than Somalia … He is a mixture of Scrooge, Iron Man and Madonna. He is just completely crazy, and the shareholders give him their money in the hope that he will turn it into gold.

I’m starting to get good at this list and those who make it, and I’m telling you that Elon will deflate like the big Botox balloon that he is (however, in 1998, after seeing the first mobile phones in Italy, I said mom: “It will never work” …).

Well, what reassures me is that he can get off the list very quickly. It happened to a funny billionaire: Elizabeth Holmes. She created a company that was supposed to revolutionize blood testing. In 2015, she was a billionaire, then we realized that her project is just a big scam. It would also be good to warn SNCF that this could happen, because its CEO gave money to Elon to develop the Hyperloop, a revolutionary vehicle: the concept is to blow people out with compressed air from a blowgun. I’m not sure it will come out.

In 2022, they are still the most numerous American billionaires. On the other hand, Africans are still as bad as ever: 20 billionaires for the entire continent.

The richest people in Africa are the Afro-Breton Vincent Bollore and Ivan Glasenberg, the owner of the most terrible company in the world, Glencore … I never say his name three times in a row after midnight in front of a mirror. If you want to know what they’re up to, type Glencore into Google News (give Sergey Brin and Larry Page a few cents, by the way) and look at human rights violations.

There are 367 women on the list. Congratulations to Mackenzie Bezos, who was ranked 30th on the day of her divorce. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you of the importance of entering into a marriage in accordance with the regime of the community…

Françoise Bettencourt, L’Oréal heiress, is the richest woman in the world with a net worth of $74 billion. I have to ask my actress friends why they are trying to enrich him at all costs and let him sell us the by-products of the oil industry in the form of creams.

But what shocked me the most was that the Financial Times women’s app has changed its name! It was called “How to Spend It” and became the “Financial Times Magazine”. Pfff… it used to be better!

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